"Break to Build"

I have been told sometimes you have to break to build. Well, I guess I can say I experienced that now. I attempted my 20 mile run on Saturday and I definitely have to say I broke. Let me back up a bit here. Last Wednesday evening after the students race I began to get sick. I was yelling and cheering for all the kids and strained my voice and throat. This lead to some kind of sinus thing. I began trying to fight it off with rest and vitamin C. Friday rolled around and I headed out of town. We headed down to Galveston for Ryan to participate in the Ironman 70.3. Which was very exciting and made me look forward to my next goal after the marathon! I was feeling pretty good however, I still was not feeling up to par. The plan was for me to run the 20 miler on the treadmill at the hotel with no hills. Much easier compared to last weeks run. I get everything set and head to the gym. I begin to run and I feel alright. I'm going to get this done! I run about 2 miles before I begin coughing which made it hard for me to breathe. I stopped the treadmill, put water on myself and cooled off. I start the treadmill back up to pace and begin to run. I want to complete my last long run! Three more weeks to go, easy runs from here. About 2 more miles in my chest starts tightening up. I am taking deep breathes trying to get air. Its not helping. I take a few more strides before I feel my body go into panic mode. Quickly I turn the speed down and put my hands above my head. I couldn't breathe. In that split second I think of a asthmatic child feeling this way every time he or she tries to run. It was a frightening feeling. Not knowing if air was going to reach my lungs. Tears surface to the corner of my eyes. I want to be able to complete this run so badly. Yet again I walk it out and cool down. I am mad and frustrated. I want to complete this run! I speed the treadmill back up. A little over a mile passes and my chest starts to tighten back up. A few seconds later I stop the treadmill. I decide it is not worth it. I don't want another moment of guessing when I will get air. Although I know its for the best I am upset that I couldn't work through it. I broke. And now I am building. I'm on the last leg of this sickness and I am ready to go hard these next three weeks. Last week between recovering from the 22 mile run and becoming sick I didn't get much accomplished. I am now determined to finish this 16 week training build strong! That is what it means to break to build!